11 December, 2014

"L" is for Lumpectomy

Today I am spending the entire day in my pajamas, Christmas pajamas by the way.  I have parked myself in front of the fire, I am covered by a favorite old quilt, Rosie-the-Wonder-Dog is keeping me company and I have just finished my very first nap of the day. I actually have a bona fide reason for all of this laziness relaxation.  A Lumpectomy was performed yesterday on my right "Ta-ta" to remove something suspicious in a milk duct found on my recent routine mammogram.

I'm feeling pretty good today, under the circumstances, and I could probably be up and working, but I have decided to milk this a bit, no pun intended, and take a little time for myself.  My dear friend, Sharon W., whose Cranberry Walnut Relish is featured in the post below, advised me not to get dressed, do my hair or put on makeup because then everyone expects you to be just as you always are, taking care of things and getting the job done.  I can't very well be expected to work in my pajamas, now can I?

Yesterday was a busy day.  I had to be at the local imaging center in the morning where a wire was inserted into the area that the surgeon would be removing, sort of a "Dig Here" marker.  They had a little trouble finding just the right spot since I have what they termed, "a busy breast", meaning that there are lots of cysts and stuff in there.

I then got my first peek at the brand new gazillion dollar 3-D Mammography machine that has just arrived here in the Burg.  We are very lucky to have such new technology here in our small town. There were two mammogram films taken to be certain that the wire was in just the right place.

The wire had been wrapped in gauze and was taped down to my skin.  I was advised to travel braless over to the Surgical Center where the procedure was to be done.  I laughed and told the tech helping me that I had not gone braless since the late '60's.  She said, "Me neither!", then we both laughed uproariously!   Imagine the scene.... two 60-somethings standing in a tiny dressing room, me with a wire sticking out of my boob and both of us laughing like crazy about going braless.  Humor always helps at times like that.

Now, here comes the best part!  At the Surgical Center I was handed this huge paper gown to change in to.  I was escorted to a prep room and situated on the gurney.  My nurse, Julie, asked "Do you run hot or cold?" and I replied that I run on the cold side.  So she hooked up what looked like a vacuum cleaner hose to a port in my huge paper gown and then she turned on the warm airflow. Sweet Baby Jeepers!  My gown sort of inflated with wonderful warm air.  I was in heaven!

Fast forward.  The surgery is over, I am bound up with bandages and something that looks suspiciously like a TUBE TOP, this time from the '70's.  Another fashion blast from the past! Going braless AND a tube top, all in one day!

I was discharged and Mr. T. brought the car up to the secret door that leads to the street.  As we were driving home, Mr. T. told me that the surgeon had come out after surgery and spoken to him. He said (with that funny twinkle in his eye that tells me that he is about to deliver a zinger), that all went well and that the full pathology would be ready in about a week.  Then he says, "The surgeon said that your milk ducts were not the problem, the problem was in your MILK DUDS." Then he handed me this.

Maybe you had to be there.  Maybe you had to have just come out of anesthesia, but I laughed so hard that I nearly p.... well... suffice it to say that laughter really IS good medicine.

I love that man.

UPDATE - December 18th.

I am so happy and relieved to say that the pathology report has come in.  The letter for today is "B" for BENIGN!  I had been steeling myself for bad news, (family history...) and the mass removed was termed "pre-cancerous", but that particular bullet has been dodged, at least for now.   I'm feeling so very grateful.

Now, everyone, go schedule your mammogram!

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